CALIFORNIA:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along
a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and
attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the
movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is
only doing what is natural.
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| Coyote closeup (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a
$100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area. The State
Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently
eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping
the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote's
relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.
TEXAS:
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a
nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. The Governor shoots the
coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent
$0.50 on a .45 hollow point cartridge. Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
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