Why did
the chicken cross the road? **
SARAH PALIN: The
chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
JOHN McCAIN: My
friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What
difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't
really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or
against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's
my gun?
 |
| A hen chicken (Gallus gallus) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
COLIN POWELL: Now to
the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not
cross the road with that chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although
I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was
the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not
for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are
all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The
problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal
with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new
problems.
OPRAH: Well, I
understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross
the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR
so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest
of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have
reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have
access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That
chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and
the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal
the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one
called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at
the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the
chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed
the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in
the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the
chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it
the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
out this abomination that the
Liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day
we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't
that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell,
for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to
accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the
nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine
all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have
just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014This new platform is much more
stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the
chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I
miss one?
** submitted
** submitted
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